The Process, This Time

Since a couple of people have asked, and the process we are going through to adopt from Korea is different than the domestic adoption process that most people are familiar with, I'll explain how it works.

We initially had to select whether we wanted a boy or a girl, as there are different waiting lists. We got on our agency's boy list the same day we decided that Korean adoption was the route we would take to add another child to our family. We worked our way down the list while we worked through the approval process. Since we have to be approved to adopt by the state of Colorado, no matter where the child comes from, the process was very similar to what we have done before.

The agency here usually receives profiles for two or three babies at a time from an agency in Korea, and they match those babies with the next couples in line. After a couple is matched (they call it receiving a referral), they have 48 hours to consult their pediatrician if desired, and to decide whether to accept the referral. If they turn it down, the profile goes to the next couple in line.

We were told just a couple of weeks ago that we were number three on the boy list, so we were expecting to be matched by the end of the year. But we've also been warned by our agency that since domestic adoptions in Korea are picking up, the profiles they have been receiving have often been for children with minor to moderate health problems. So in order to not get our hopes too high, we were sort of expecting to pass at least one referral before we found "our boy."

I got the call on Tuesday afternoon from the agency that they had a referral for us. She gave me a summary of his profile over the phone, and mentioned that his birthmother had requested that he be sent to a family that already has children. She didn't say so, but I suspect that we were still number three on the wait list, but the other two don't have kids, and that's why we jumped up. That's just a guess though.

There wasn't anything she told me that scared me off, so she emailed the medical/social report to us, along with a couple of photos. I forwarded that report to our pediatrician so we could get some more info and her professional opinion about a virus that he had last month. She got back to me on Wednesday and reassured me that it was a one-time thing, he received the treatment he should have, and nothing about it should cause concern.

In the meantime we'd been praying, of course, and on Wednesday evening we decided to move forward. I emailed the agency that night to let them know that we accepted the referral. We have an appointment there this afternoon to sign off on the home study and begin the immigration paperwork.

Our home study and related documents will now be sent to the agency in Korea, and they'll begin their approval process of us. The immigration portion is the slowest part of the process, and we have been told to expect an 8 or 9 month wait before we can bring him home.

We have the option of paying for an escort to bring him home, but we want to travel over there and see a little bit of Korea. We don't know yet how long we'll stay. We'll be leaving Asher and Riley here with a family member, so that definitely is a factor.

Since he was release from the hospital at two days old he has been living with a foster family. (Korea doesn't have orphanages.) He will continue to live with them until we pick him up, and we will be able to meet his foster mom while we're there.

Several foreign countries, including China, have an agreement with the U.S. that adoptions are finalized and the child is becomes a citizen as soon as the plane touches ground on U.S. soil. That is not the case with Korea. So we will have three post-placement visits from our caseworker, as is the case with domestic adoptions. The adoption will be finalized 6 months after placement, and then we can have him sealed to us.

It is sort of ironic that we will wait to bring him home the same length of time as a typical pregnancy. It will be hard knowing that he is growing and developing and having all the fun firsts that babies go through their first year, and not be able to see any of that. But we knew that would be the case when we made the decision to adopt from Korea. There have been no surprises. I finished reading Charlotte's Web to Riley just an hour ago, and a sentence in the last chapter struck me. As Wilbur is patiently waiting for the end of winter and the coming of Charlotte's baby spiders, he observes, "Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch." I truly hope that is our experience through the next several months.