Found: Real Beauty

This is for all the beautiful women in my life. If you haven't already seen it, take the three minutes to watch this video from Dove. You'll be glad you did.

"We spend a lot of time, as women, analyzing and trying to fix the things that aren't quite right. We should spend more time appreciating the things that we do like."



"You are more beautiful than you think." What an amazing campaign!

Found: "Diane Tells His Name and Bonnie Buchanan"

Are you familiar with Story Corps? It's a non-profit that records and archives people's stories. These histories are told in the format of a conversation, usually the person sharing their history is telling it to a family member, so someone close to them. I studied psychology, but I think I am truly an anthropologist at heart. I can't get enough of these oral histories. Here is one of my favorites so far: "Diane Tells His Name is Lakota. But Diane didn't know this until she was an adult, when she discovered she'd been adopted."

It's a conversation between Diane and her adopted daughter, Bonnie. "It's like our whole family was just planned out so it would be best for all of us."

You can go here to see the photo of Bonnie that Diane describes.

Found: "Two Babies in a Manger"

I've posted about this family before. They're in St. George, Utah and are trying to raise funds to bring their three to-be-adopted children home. Yesterday they posted a Christmas story on the blog that I haven't heard before. I hope you love it as much as I do. And while you're there, consider donating a few bucks. They've had someone offer a donation match that ends tomorrow, so your $5 donation becomes $10 for these kids. And your donation is tax-deductable if you do it through Eli Project.

Two Babies in a Manger. "It is not what you have in your life, but WHO you have in your life that really counts."

Found: "In The Club"

We got such a kick out of this teenage boy talking about what it's like to be adopted. I hope that in a dozen years, our boys will have similarly positive things to say about being adopted. I wonder if it's too much to hope for that they'll also be as eloquent.

Found: "Something Extraordinary from an Ordinary Guy"

When people find out that Riley and Asher are adopted, our relationship with their birth families is often the subject that they are most curious about. I've written about their open adoptions before. Scot and I continue to navigate our way through these relationships. We certainly don't have everything figured out, but whenever we face a decision related to birth families, we prayerfully try to do what is best for that child, as well as for the whole family.

Maybe it's the feeling that our open adoptions are uncharted territory for us that made me so happy to find this article by an adoptive father. It brought me peace to know that someone else has gone through this before us, had some of the same feelings we had/have, and now has a grown son and the confidence that they did the right thing for him.

Adoption Voices: Something Extraordinary from an Ordinary Guy. "All in all, eighteen years later, I think we really have done what's best for our son. He has no questions abut who he is, where he comes from, or why he is my son instead of his birth father's child. A nice side effect is that everyone else, birth family and my family, prospers from additional healthy relationships and an extended family we never would have had."

Found: "Don't Carpe Diem"

As we were making preparations to bring Tyson home, I was warned by quite a few moms that having three kids is hard. Exponentially harder than two kids. Different women cited different reasons, but it seemed to be a common theme. Now that I've been a mom to three little kids for a month-and-a-half and we're past a lot of the big adjustment-related issues, I will concur with those moms. I can't point out a specific reason, though. I've just noticed over the past couple of weeks that there are more evenings now that I think to myself, "how is it not bedtime yet?!" There are fewer evenings where I look back on the day and think, "I was a good Mom today," or even, "today was a great day!" More often than not, I feel like I'm just surviving motherhood. And who knows? Maybe my kids feel like they're just surviving me.

Please don't misunderstand. I am not complaining. I love being a stay-at-home-mom and I love my kids. I wouldn't trade my life for anything. But it is really hard. Since motherhood is stretching and molding me into a stronger, better, (and hopefully more patient) woman, I guess it's understandable that I am experiencing some growing pains along the way.

So this blog post I just read tonight really hit home. Mamastery: Don't Carpe Diem. It describes so well how I'm feeling about motherhood lately. "Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question." But the second half of the post really helped me put things into perspective. "And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it."

Found: "How To Raise Boys Who Read"

I have loved reading as long as I can remember. I was the kid that always had a library book in my bag so I could read on the bus to and from school. I was the kid that snuck a flashlight into bed at night so I could read under the covers. Now I am the adult who considers a trip to the library a crucial part of preparation for any vacation. I am the adult who listens to audiobooks on my iPod twice as much as I listen to music. I am the mom who thinks books are the best gift you can give a child. I am the mom who is doing a Christmas book advent with my kids.
I hope my kids love to read too. I have read quite a few of the American Girls books to Riley, and now we're working on the Ramona series. After that I'm thinking Little House on the Prairie. Last month she completed a 100-lesson reading program! And Asher refused to go down for a nap unless he has at least three books in bed with him. I look forward to when they are older and we can read and discuss books together. Maybe they will even love some of the books I loved, like The Boxcar Children and the Bobbsey Twins.

I was surprised by the opening paragraph of an article I just read. "... in some states the percentage of boys proficient in reading is now more than ten points below that of girls. The male-female reading gap is found in every socio-economic and ethnic category, including the children of white, college-educated parents." I am completely in favor of the solution this man suggests.

The Wall Street Journal: How To Raise Boys Who Read. "So why won't boys read? The AP story drops a clue when it describes the efforts of one frustrated couple with their 13-year-old unlettered son: 'They've tried bribing him with new video games.' Good grief."

The Santa Conundrum

The dilemma about how much to tell my kids about Santa started years before I became a mother, or even a wife. I remember a college friend telling me that her parents never made Santa a part of their family's Christmas celebrations. The kids didn't receive any gifts from Santa, but they also weren't told that he wasn't real. They just didn't make a big deal out of it either way. As an adult, this friend told me that she thought her parents' approach was perfect, and she intended to do the same when she had kids.

Well this concept blew me away, but in a good way. I was impressed enough by the idea that I remembered it for years, and after Scot and I were married and discussing traditions that we wanted to carry on with our own family, I brought this up. When Scot was growing up, Santa only brought the contents of their stockings, as well as a small gift or two. According to Scot, his mom didn't want Santa to get the credit for the big stuff. So when I told him that I was leaning toward not pushing the concept of Santa, it wasn't a stretch for him.

Up until this year, it hasn't really been an issue. We've never told our kids that any of their gifts are from Santa. But Riley is old enough now to have picked up the idea that Santa brings toys to kids, even though we have never told her that. She had been mentioning him quite a bit in the last few weeks, but I felt strongly that some sort of action was needed when, in a prayer at bedtime, she thanked God for Santa.

Since that night I've been pondering how to address this. I really like the idea of just not making an issue of it at all, but I really don't like how obsessed she is becoming with Santa.

I remembered an article I read last year by Pastor Mark Driscoll in the Washington Post's On Faith column. He and his wife have taught their children that "Saint Nick was a wonderful man who loved and served Jesus faithfully. So, we gladly include him in our Christmas traditions to remind us of what it looks like for someone to live a life of devotion to Jesus as God." They have separated the truth from the folklore, in order to not demonize Santa. Love that!

I came across this blog post about a lesson that one mom did with her children about the similarities between Santa and Jesus Christ. "We talked about how Santa is actually a symbol for Jesus, and everything we love about Santa is really everything we love about Jesus." Awesome!

This is going to be the topic for our family night lesson next week, and I'll be using ideas from both of these articles.

What are your thoughts? I'm wondering if this is a topic that other people have strong opinions on, or if I'm just one of a crazy few. What is/was Santa's role in your family's Christmas traditions, and would you change anything if you were starting over?

Found: "How To Talk To Little Girls"

I wrote a blog post a year ago (almost exactly) of my concerns of  "raising a daughter in a superficial world." I read an article by author Lisa Bloom this morning that reminded me of the subject and gave me some good ideas. Hope it inspires you as much as it did me.

Huffington Post: How to Talk to Little Girls. "I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are."

Found: "Hardware Store Decor"

Do you have a dining table that is used as a catch-all for mail, dust, and half-finished craft projects more than it is actually dined on? Well here is a simple craft project that will multi-purpose that table into something little kids would love!

Found: "The Bloggess and the Christmas Gift Card Miracle of 2010"

Wow! Check out this article on the Washington Post's blog. I would have loved to have been a part of this. Maybe next year.

"What started off as 20 $30 gift cards to Amazon turned into $40,000 in donated gifts, all between strangers..."

Build-A-Bear Deal

Groupon has a Build-A-Bear deal right now. Today only, spend $10 and get a $20 credit to make your own stuffed animal. Follow this link and make sure you're on the Chicago page for this deal (although you can use it at any Build-A-Bear store in the country).

We have never been to Build-A-Bear but we have big plans to in the next couple of months. Our trip there is related to a bigger project that has been in the works for a few months. We hopefully will be ready to announce it here in a month or two.

Have you been to Build-A-Bear before? How was your experience? Any suggestions for our first time?

Found: "Solving the Halloween Candy Conundrum"

One day after the official holiday. I'm guessing at least three since the celebrations started. Are you sick of the candy yet? My kids are still young enough that they don't recognize the candy they gather is their candy. Instead we bring it all home, and then divide it into two bowls. Bowl 1: The candy that is worth eating. Most chocolate, Skittles & Starburst, Tootsie Rolls, a couple of DumDums for Riley and a package of Smarties for Asher. Bowl 2: The candy that will not get eaten in this house. Pixie Sticks, Bottle Caps, sticky candy like Airheads and Laffy Taffy, the rest of the Smarties and DumDums, Atomic Fireballs, gum, and gross chocolate like Crunch bars. The complete contents of Bowl 2 were handed out to trick-or-treaters last night, along with the chocolate bars we bought for that purpose. That's right, in this house we re-treat candy. Do you do it too?

I know Riley and Asher are eventually going to figure out that we've changed the original rules of this trick-or-treating game. When that happens, I'm going to borrow this idea as my back-up plan. stephmodo: Solving the Halloween Candy Conundrum. "The goal was to make tossing out candy both fun and the child's own choice. In no way did we want to manipulate them into tossing the candy..." Brilliant and fun!

Found: "Journey to Ethiopia"

This video gives me goosebumps every time I watch it. Right up until 7:29. That's when I start bawling.

Found: "What Should a 4 Year Old Know?"

I followed a link to this post this afternoon, and was so glad I stumbled on it. It's by Alicia Bayer, a homeschooling mother of four. Such a good reminder of things my heart already knew.

A Magical Childhood: What Should a 4 Year Old Know? "Much less than we realize, and much more."

Have I Got a Deal for You!?

You've heard of the deal-a-day site called Groupon.com, right? I've purchased a few things there in the past, but I'm excited enough about today's deal to post it here. You can purchase a $50 Gap gift card, today only, for just $25. It's good at Gap, GapKids, and babyGap stores, but not Gap Outlets or Gap.com. And you can use the gift card in conjunction with sales and coupons. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me! Oh, and one last thing to remember: the gift card expires on November 19th of this year. So get shopping!

If you're not already a member of Groupon.com, click here to sign up!

Warning: the site is running a little slow today, I'm sure because so many people want in on this deal. I had to refresh my browser a couple of times, but didn't have any problems buying mine.

Found: "In which we're eating and praying and loving right here"

I just got chills reading the following blog post. Regardless of your opinion about the book she's referring to, I think you'll appreciate this post as well.

Emerging Mummy: In which we're eating and praying and loving right here: "I find life and enjoyment in simple food, eaten at my own kitchen table or at noisy Sunday"

Craigslister

Do you love Craigslist as much as I do? I started using Craigslist to find furniture for our first house in Austin, and I quickly became a fan. Through it I've sold a dishwasher, a fridge, a range, a mattress set, a stroller, a car seat, even a potty seat (that one was NIB). I'm currently trying to sell a dining table, four unfinished wood chairs, and a dryer.

But oh, the stuff I've purchased on Craigslist. This is the part that gets me excited. Three strollers, a crib, changing table, and mattress, a pack & play, a baby wrap, a children's picnic table, a set of bunk beds, a piano, a settee, a hiking baby carrier, an exercise trampoline, our guest bed (that one was also unused). Ever since I discovered that I can do an RSS feed with my search criteria, I've become a little addicted. These are what I currently have my eyes open for.

A porch swing. I'm looking forward to spending summer evenings on one of these, watching my kids play in the cul-de-sac and enjoying the cool mountain air.

A grandfather clock. A classy, simple style. Maybe a little Skandenavian looking. Not a big ornate one that you'd find in someone's grandma's house. (My Grandma has pretty good taste, I think she'd like this one too.)

A pre-lit Christmas tree. I know it's not exactly the season for this, but winding lights around our tree is the only thing I dislike about decorating for Christmas.

An Eames rocker. Love this chair.

A pretty cuckoo clock. Again, nothing too ornate. Not one that looks like a Swiss chalet, or has little men skiing around in circles.

A balance bike. I've read that these are more effective in teaching kids to ride a real bike than training wheels. Riley would have so much fun on one of these, trying to keep up with the big kids in the neighborhood.

A Bit of Our Story

Our local chapter of Families Supporting Adoption has a blog with a weekly column called Saturday Success Stories. Today we were highlighted! Check us out here.

Spring Canyon Park

Two Saturdays ago, the weather was really nice, so we decided to go to one of the city parks, Spring Canyon Park. Fort Collins has 6 city parks that range from 60-100 acres and include features like skate parks, playgrounds, mountain biking course, frisbee golf, a farm, etc. They planned the city so that at most, everyone was within 2 miles of a city park. There are also regular community parks that are like most parks you would imagine. Spring Canyon Park is at the base of the mountains against open space and has some trailheads for mountain biking. It also has a very impressive universally accessible playground (the first in Colorado), tennis courts, ball fields, open space, a dog park, etc. During the summer, there is also a water feature.

Notice the rotating wheel of death in the middle of the above picture near the bottom (next to the man standing there). I decided (without thinking) to get on it and run. I ran fast enough to reach the top, but it was rotating faster and faster and I had no escape plan. I tripped and jacked my shin on the top and crashed to the ground. A lady stranger playing on the teeter-totter looked at me and then just busted up laughing. I tried to save face by getting back on and walking a little, but there was this stabbing pain in my leg, so I jumped off and ran/hobbled off like I was looking for my kid. Anyway, it took off a layer of skin through my pants and left a huge bruise. Becca was just upset that she couldn't have seen it so she could have laughed hard at me as well.

Riley loved all of the slides and that there were so many different things to do on the playground. There was one slide built into the hill that she had no hesitation on going down.

She walked up this hill and then tried to slide down on it, but it was a little too slow for her liking.

I had a fun time as well playing and running around with Riley. If I were a kid again, this would be a great place for some no-ground-tag.