Last Day of Pre-K

Asher had a fantastic year of preschool, and concluded it today with a "graduation" celebration. The kids sang and signed some of the songs they learned and recited the Pledge of Allegiance.

Together Songs and Pledge of Allegiance

Red, White, and Blue

Signing the Alphabet

Leading a Nursery Rhyme

I Think You're Wonderful

The small group was perfect for Asher, and we couldn't have asked for a better teacher than Mrs. Rhonda. Now it's on to kindergarten!

Off To Preschool I Go

Asher's preschool began a full three weeks after Riley and Tyson started. He was so eager to begin.

His preschool teacher does the preschool out of her home, and has been doing it for over 20 years. She is wonderful, and just the sweet, nurturing type of person that Asher will warm up to right away. I'm also excited that he is one of only 6 kids in the class, so our shy boy won't be able to fade into the background.

Big Man On Campus

Tyson started preschool this year. His classroom is in our local elementary school, and the teachers are wonderful. All of them have or are working on advanced degrees in special ed or specific therapies. They have set and are helping him work towards very specific goals related to his behavior. 

He was so excited to go, but I wondered if he'd have a hard time when it was time for me to walk away. As you can tell from this shot, he was happy to be there, and didn't mind saying goodbye to his mom a bit.

Asher Man

Asher has grown and changed so much over the last year. It seemed that when we were with other people, he used to be content to hanging out in Riley's shadow. She was the one that would say hello to strangers, and he would look at them with a shy smile. When asked questions like how old he was, he would gladly let her answer for him. I wouldn't say those days are completely behind him. Just today someone said hi to Riley and then asked Asher his name. He stood there quietly while she answered.

But we have seen huge improvements. He has made a new friend in his tumbling class, and will occasionally strike up conversations with adults while we're waiting in checkout lines. Also, we've had reports from his teacher at church that he doesn't seem a bit shy in her class. Hooray!

At his four-year checkup, we learned that Asher is in the 12th percentile for weight and 15th for height. He has quite an imagination, and will play by himself with his action figures and cars for quite a long time. He told me today that his favorite foods are macaroni & cheese and green beans. In fact, he asked me if he can be in charge of planting the green beans in our garden this spring. Asher has a few pairs of inexpensive stretchy mittens that he often wears around the house. And he will not play any type of ball until he has them on, as he insists they help him catch better, just like the real football players. He enjoyed watching football with Dad during the season, and can't get enough of Wild Kratts and Angry Birds. I'm pretty strict about TV and iPod time, but that doesn't stop him from asking for it...frequently. Scot is a little more of a push-over, and it hasn't taken Asher long to figure out that he'll probably have better results if he asks Dad.

Asher has started doing lessons in the same learn-to-read program that we used for teaching Riley. It's fun to see how excited he is when he finishes a difficult lesson, or reads a word that he started out thinking was too hard. But his real interest right now is numbers. Whenever he sees two or three digit numbers he'll ask me "what do 1 and 9 and 6 make?" He is good at adding and subtracting small numbers, and he's really close to being able to tell time on a digital clock. He loves counting for no particular purpose. Yesterday he was asking how old Scot and I were, as well as all our siblings. After each answer, he would start at one and count up to their age. That kept him occupied for quite a while. Asher loves his class at church, and often tells us how nice his teacher is. And he is VERY excited to start preschool in September.

He and Tyson are slowing learning how to work and play together, but Asher and Riley really get along well. Although that's really nothing new. We had a huge snowstorm last weekend, and when it was all over, had two foot drifts in some parts of the backyard. Asher and Riley would bundle up and play out there for an hour or two each day while Tyson napped. One day he was ready to come inside before Riley was, but she bribed him to stay out there until she was ready to come in too. I knew that some sort of deal took place, but I didn't know the details, so I asked about it at dinnertime. Asher explained to us that if he stayed outside with her, Riley promised that he could play with a particular doll of hers every day that week. As soon as he was done telling Scot and I what the deal was, he turned to Riley, pointed a finger at her, and told her, "You better write that down, Riley." Smart boy.

Getting Dressed

I'm excited to post about our recent trip to Texas, but I have a LOT of photos to sort through first. In the meantime, here's one we took of Tyson today. He definitely likes being independent, and is trying to do more things on his own lately. In this case it was putting his shirt on without help. The results have been varied.

Tyson is Two!

We celebrated Tyson's second birthday a few weeks ago. Our intention was to play at a nearby splash park, but the day turned out to be cold and windy. Instead we spent some time at the library.

Tyson had a great time with this birthday card and some gifts.

"Cookie" was one of Tyson's first recognizable words in English, and at the time we were planning his birthday meal, he used that word to describe anything sweet. So when Riley suggested a giant cookie instead of a birthday cake, we knew it was a perfect idea.

It took him a little staring and then a couple of tries before he managed to blow out the candles, but his siblings were pretty excited when he finally got them.

Tyson in the 25th percentile for weight and about 45th for height. I've been asked quite a few times if Asher and Tyson are twins, despite their 16th month age difference (not to mention what I think are fairly obvious racial differences).

Tyson loves being chased, but not tickled. He has a huge appetite and will eat most any food. He's fond of our dog, Bernie, and would love to snuggle with him, if only the cranky old dog would let him get close enough. Tyson loves pants with pockets, and sticking his fists in them is the first thing he does once he's dressed each morning. He loves to brush his teeth and will scramble up the stool to get his toothbrush any time he follows someone into the kid's bathroom. He is starting to recognize the difference between cars, trucks, and buses, and much of our time in the car is spent listening to Tyson point them out.

Many nights he pulls everything off his bed, onto the floor, and sleeps there. In order to simplify this routine, we've limited him to a pillow and his two favorite things to sleep with right now: a silky blanket my grandma made for him, and a soft black bear-shaped pillow. Tyson sleeps on the bottom bed in a shared bunk with Asher, and it's a rare night that the boys don't get reprimanded a time or two for giggling and talking together, sneaking into each other's beds, etc.

Tyson understands us very well now, and is good at communicating with us. We're learning that this boy is going to take his own sweet time with learning to talk though, and we suspect it has more to do with his personality than with his relatively recent introduction to the language. When we ask him to say a word, he nearly always has one of two reactions: he completely ignores the request, or he babbles sounds that in no way resemble the requested word. We joke that it's his own version of Google Translate.


He has shown quite a bit of interest recently in peeing on the little potty seat. I'm sure it has everything to do with the M&Ms he's been promised, but we don't mind the reason.

Tyson's personality seems to be similar to Riley's in a lot of ways, including his independent streak. Once he learns to do something for himself, he has no patience for my help with that task. He loves to put his Crocs on, put his clean socks and pajamas in their drawers, climb into his chair at the kitchen table for meals, climb from the ground into his car seat and then buckle the chest buckle, and put dirty clothes and trash in their respective containers. He's getting pretty good at getting his pants on and off by himself (a must before I take the potty-training any more seriously) and helping Riley and Asher with some of their chores like dusting, cleaning their bedrooms, and sorting laundry.


Tyson is a charmer and loves to wave and say hi to people. I've been told by more than one woman in the nursery at church that Tyson is their favorite kid. (I can get away with revealing that here because I don't think anyone in our new congregation knows about the blog.) He loves attention, and is very skilled at figuring out how to get it...good or bad. We love this kid, and are so grateful for the energy, smiles, fun, and yes, even the noise that he has added to our family.

Asher is Three!

Finally, I have a good reason for a belated post! Things have been hectic around here for the last few weeks. We have tried to keep things at home as consistent as possible for our kid, especially Tyson, but we've got a lot of balls that we're trying to keep in the air right now. So far everything is working out, and we are reassured that we are moving in the right direction. As I told my grandparents when we talked this morning, we're just trying to keep our heads above water and our feet underneath us.

Fortunately Asher's birthday happened before all this craziness hit, so we were able to have a celebration that he was pleased with.

Asher was thrilled with all the birthday cards that came in the mail during the days leading up to his birthday. I'm convinced that nothing makes a three-year-old feel more important than getting mail from people he hardly remembers meeting.

Scot was still home taking his "family leave," so the whole family went to lunch at one of Asher's favorite places, McDonalds. He proved he was a big boy by making it all the way to the top slide in a rather confusing Playplace, without any help from his big sister.

For dinner Asher requested his favorite: slow-cooker lasagna. I've made all my kids' birthday cakes until this year. He had been telling me for weeks that he wanted a Lightning McQueen cake for his birthday. My friend Maggie had given me an idea for an easy way to decorate a Lightning McQueen cake and I debated doing it myself. But in the end, I decided to cheat. I still felt like my hands were full with three kids and we were preparing the house for showings. But the deciding factor was that I knew Asher would be happy with any birthday dessert, as long as it was colorful and made of chocolate.

At his 3-year check-up Asher was in the 5th percentile for height and the 25th for weight.

Asher is the sweetest little guy. He talks a lot, but is very quiet when he's out of his comfort zone. With another child in the house with a strong personality, we are reminded just how easy-going Asher is. Honestly, he is a good buffer between Riley and Tyson.

Asher's favorite things are cars, trains, Dora, singing, bath time, chocolate, ice cream, pizza, his super bouncy ball, penguins, playing with his cousin Brady and his friend Gunner, books, aquariums and fish tanks, dipping food in Ranch dressing, playing on Riley's scooter, and making Tyson laugh.

Adjustments

After being home for a week and a half now, we continue in our transition from a family of 4 to a family of 5 (or as I call it, moving from man-to-man to zone defense). There are adjustments for Tyson, for Riley and Asher, and for us.

As I've mentioned, Tyson has had a strong attachment to me that occurred almost immediately. We found this out on the plane ride home when I got up to go to the bathroom and he freaked out. For the first week, he wouldn't let me out of the room without crying, whining, and/or chasing after me. I made sure that he had to work for it though, and made him go up and down the stairs on his own. We really don't know for sure why he attached to me so strongly, but he did seem close to his foster father. The other guess is that Becca has blonde hair and it's scary and foreign to him. I did take Tyson in to work after a few days to turn in some insurance forms and he held close to me when I talked to a few women. But when a man came by and started talking, Tyson smiled at him and started to bow his head (we saw this on the plane when the Korean attendants would go by). Another man came walking down the hall and he bowed to him as well. At church, he stopped and waved and bowed his head to a half-Japanese teenage girl. So, maybe men and people with dark hair is what he is familiar with.

We've really tried to do things to help him bond with Becca (and her to him), including playing with him, picking him up, etc. when I'm around, so he gets more comfortable with her. This obviously will be essential when I return to work. I've left for an hour here or there to run errands so that he gets used to me leaving and coming back. The first time, he cried almost the whole time. Now, he sees me go and seems ok with it.

Riley reading Tyson a book the first time I left to run some errands. You can't tell from this picture, because he's really intrigued by the camera, but he was listening to Riley and paying pretty close attention.

Tyson is a voracious eater. He has eaten everything we have put in front of him and he eats a lot of it. He definitely out-eats Asher (and also at least twice the speed because Asher is a slow eater), and sometimes Riley and Becca. He is happiest while eating and afterwards. He was used to snacking all day, so we've transitioned him to a more regular meal schedule.

Our biggest challenge has been sleeping habits. It's pretty typical that bedtime is when a child's grief shows up. They can stay distracted through the day, but when they slow down to sleep, all those thoughts and the pain shows up. As far as we understand, he slept on a mat in the same room as his foster parents. The first nights were really tough. Part of this was due to jet lag, I'm sure, but also setting new boundaries and getting into a routine and familiar with his surroundings. For the first few nights, Becca slept on a mattress next to him. He would scream for 30 minutes, cry for another 10-20, then stubbornly just sit and doze off and finally fall over and sleep. He generally sleeps through the night, but he does stir and move a lot. He usually ends up in some spot on the carpet all around the room. Now, we sit in a chair and have him lay down on his bed. At first he resisted and tried to leave the room, but we would pick him up and put him back, and the crying has diminished. Once he falls asleep, we leave the room, and in the morning (or after nap), he will come out of the room or give a little cry and we'll get him and he seems fine with that. While these sleep problems have been REALLY hard, they are perfectly normal for an adopted toddler, and actually a healthy sign that he's working through his grief.

One of the hard parts in this transition is determining what is manifest because of grief/mourning/taking him from everything he knew, and what is manifest because he is 19-months-old. We've found he is intelligent, stubborn, persistent, playful, goofy and has a fairly long attention span for his age.

Tyson has quickly picked up on a few things that have helped in communication. We only have to show him or repeat things a few times before he picks it up. He learned the sign for 'eat' within a couple of days of being home, and learned 'more' a day or two later. Now we're working on 'all done' and 'please'. He will usually point or pull/push us towards what he wants. He also understands a lot from us and picks up on cues from the other kids, like when we are getting ready to go somewhere he will find his shoes when he sees Riley and Asher putting theirs on.

The kids have had to adjust. Asher is going through the obvious transition of having a little brother. He's not used to another kid taking his toys or getting in the way. Riley has been super helpful (sometimes a little too much so). The newness has worn off and we have had to tell Asher that Tyson is staying with us (he's said things like, "when Tyson goes back ...", which is normal for any youngest that has now been replaced by a new kid).

Overall, every day seems a little bit better, with Tyson venturing out a little more or feeling more comfortable or sleeping better. The screams and cries have lowered in volume and duration and his behavior to the other kids has improved as they get used to each other. Tyson is starting to stay with the kids and play with them while I leave the room/go upstairs and has also followed them down to the basement, which is really great for his progress.

Each day sometimes feels like a week, but looking at him now, a week and a half later, he's already so different and so much more well adjusted. We know that it will continue and hopefully we can look back and see that reaching a new equilibrium didn't really take that long.

Haircut

In his ~7 months with his foster family, the foster mom told us she cut Tyson's hair 4 times. Last night, it was time for a haircut.

Before:

After:

I do have to admit that he looks better with a little longer hair. Unfortunately, I cut my boy's hair with clippers, and the 8 guard is the longest I have, so that's the length on top. He has pretty fine hair, so it's a little spiky in the back without it's own weight to lay down. Of course, the short hair also accentuates his big ears. He did like the haircut, or at least was interested in the clippers, sat still (well, still enough for a 19 month old), and wanted to see the hair (Asher avoids looking at his hair because it scares him or something).

Tyson's Growth

We were blessed to receive pictures and some video as Tyson grew. Someone from our agency would take a trip to Korea about every 6 months and meet with the children and foster mothers. It was an opportunity to ask questions about the child and get some pictures and video to pass on. Here are some of the pictures we received.

As a baby

In the infamous 'throne': every baby at this agency has a picture like this. Always lovely to have the hair thinning phase documented ;).

In April 2011

In Jun 2011

In Nov 2011

When we met him in late Dec 2011

One thing we noticed in most of the pictures is that they keep their kids warm, usually with multiple layers of clothing and blankets.

Two and A Half

Yes, this post is nearly a month out of date. But better late than never, right?


Asher is all about extremes lately. He often says "never, ever, EVER" when describing something and tells me quite often that certain things are his favorite. He can be fickle, though, and his favorites change frequently.

Ash loves to sing and is pretty good at it. His favorites to sing are "I Am A Child Of God," "Daddy's Homecoming," and "Hush Little Baby." He loves listening to, and singing along with "The Goldfish" and "Pig On Her head," both by Laurie Berkner, the Glee version of "Bad Romance," and "Bad" by Michael Jackson.

He is in the 10th percentile for height and about the 15th for weight. Now that he is out of diapers, Asher is having the same problem his big sister had at this age, quite a few of his pants won't stay up without being pinned.

Asher is much more confident and independent than he was even a few months ago. He can go to the bathroom by himself, and dress, undress himself (although he still needs help putting shirts on), and put his clothes in his drawers. I told him that when Tyson comes home, it will be a lot easier on me if Asher could buckle his own seatbelt. Every time we got in the car after that he insisted on practicing, and he had it mastered within a couple of days. Asher now has his own chores at home, including setting the table for dinner, taking his dirty dishes to the sink after each meal, putting away certain toys in the playroom, and taking the recyclables outside to the bin.

In spite of the fact that he's over his "mama's boy" phase, he is still quite cuddly and sweet. Occasionally he'll climb onto my lap and when I ask him what he needs he'll tell me, "I want to sit on your lap, Mommy" or just "I need Mommy."

We are so blessed to have Asher in our family.He is sweet and charming, and we can’t wait to see how he develops in the next 6 months.

Update from Korea

We have 10 month pictures of Tyson! A person from our agency visited Korea and was able to take some pictures and video of him. At 10 months, he was 21 pounds and about 29 inches tall (which is about 50% for both on the USCDC chart). At that time he was pulling himself up and walking while holding onto furniture. He could say 'umma' and 'uppa' (mom and dad in Korean) to his foster parents.

His foster mom says he is a mellow, curious baby, but not a great sleeper. It was clear from her interaction with him on the video that he is very loved.

We learned that his foster family is also fostering a boy who is nine months older than Tyson. (Or they were at the time of the visit. Hopefully that little boy's adoptive family has been able to take him home by now.) I was surprised by that news, but glad that he has lived with another young child. I'm sure it will make the transition to our house just a little bit easier.

We are still hoping to go pick him up in September or around there, but Korea has set quotas for international adoptions and that could affect when we pick him up. If Tyson's file doesn't come up before the quota is met, we won't be able to pick him up until early next year. From the estimates that we have been given, we think that we are close (that we will just make it or just miss it). Please keep him in your prayers and that we can bring him home this year.

Riley and Asher are really excited for him to get home. It's cute to hear them pray for him. The other day, Asher got excited at the grocery store because he saw a little asian boy and exclaimed, "Tytin! It Tytin!".

Tyson turned 1 on May 25th.

We are prevented from sharing photos of Tyson on the internet until his adoption is finalized. However, if you're interested in seeing the new ones, please leave a comment here. We'd be happy to share them through email.

Major Haircut

Tuesday was a big day for Riley. A wish she has had for months finally came true. She got her hair cut!

Eleven inches to be exact. She was excited to donate her hair to Locks of Love, where, as Riley tells it, "They'll turn it into a wig for a kid that had cancer and the medicine made their hair gone. Now they can go to school."

I'm so proud of Riley for doing this. Not only for helping a child in need, but also for her patience. She has wanted her hair short since early fall of last year. I wasn't ready for it to be short, so I stalled. She asked over and over, and I kept putting her off.

Then when I explained Locks of Love to her and that she needed to grow her hair a little longer to donate it, she was completely on board. For months she put up with torturous hair brushing and having hair in her face all the time, and she didn't complain or bug me for a haircut once. When anyone commented on how long her hair was, she would quickly tell them that she was growing it out to donate it.

And now her long wait is over! I was afraid she would have some regrets after such a drastic cut. (That's normal, right?) But she told me this morning that she loves her short hair, and that it makes her happy every time she touches it or sees it in the mirror. And let me tell you, there has been a lot of both.

Little Boy

I’ve got to take a post to brag about my little man. Although he still corrects me when I call him a big boy (“No, I a widdow boy.”), Asher is accomplishing so many things lately, and I couldn’t be more proud of him.

First, we started potty-training with him last Friday. Ten days, and he really has the hang of it. His little legs are so short that he still needs help getting on and off the toilet, but he is telling us when he needs to go. He is still a little nervous about pooping in the potty (Scot read that this is normal, something about the act of pushing it out makes some kids think that they’re losing a part of themselves.), but he hasn’t had a wet accident in nearly a week. Also, only two Sundays wearing underwear, and the clever little stinker has already figured out that saying, “Go potty” to one of the adults leading the toddler group will get him out of class.

His second accomplishment started out with that same toddler class at church. Ever since Riley “graduated” into the Sunbeam class at church, Asher has had a hard time in his class. I’ve been going into class with him for the first 5 or 10 minutes every week since January. Every time he would stay close by me, and then cry when I pulled myself away to go to my own class. But last week we were running late to church, so on the drive over I told Asher that I wouldn’t be going into Nursery with him. I prepped him for what was going to happen, that I would take him to the door of the classroom and give him a kiss. Then he was going to walk in by himself, without crying, and find a toy or a friend to play with. And low and behold, he did just that! (Thank you for being his buddy, Chad!) Yesterday I prepped him and went through the same routine, with the same result. Hooray!

It has worked so well that I thought I’d give it a shot with his Curious Twos class this morning. But rather than telling him that’s what was going to happen, I asked him on the way to class if he was ready to go in by himself. I reassured him that he wouldn’t be able to see me, but I would be waiting in the hallway just outside his class. I was shocked when he agreed to the plan. As we waited for the classroom door to open, I again walked him through exactly what would happen: Miss Jenn would open the door and he would go in and get stamps on his hands. Then he would go inside and find his favorite helicopter toy while I stayed in the hall. When the time came to walk away from me, he hesitated for a second or two. But with a little cheering from me, and the motivation of Jenn’s rubber stamp, he went ahead. Soon he came back to the open doorway to show me that he had indeed found the helicopter, but he didn’t make any attempt to step outside of the classroom, or convince me to come in, but wandered back into the room to play. Several minutes later a teacher closed the classroom door, and he did just fine the rest of the time!

I knew we would eventually get to this day, and I’m just so happy that he is starting to feel confident on his own. I just want to squeeze him every time I think about it!

Asher is Two!

Asher is two now, and he’ll proudly tell you so if you ask. His birthday was pretty low-key. He played with two little boys his age that morning. We had one of his favorite meals for dinner, and then some friends over for cake.

He’s still a little guy, 33 inches tall (15th%) and 23.75 pounds (7th%), but he’s very healthy and developing as he should be. He is saying four-word sentences pretty consistently and he loves being read to.

We are so blessed to have Asher in our family. He has a silly sense of humor and loves to tease. He is a great little cuddler, and will (usually) give hugs and kisses on demand. He enjoys helping Mom in the kitchen, although his attention span doesn’t often last until dinner is prepared. Asher wants to do anything his big sister is doing, and he is lucky that she is so patient and generous with him. He’ll sweetly hold her baby dolls and pretend to feed them. And he and Riley often end up in the same bed together after Scot and I leave the room.

As with most boys his age, he’s very into balls, animals, anything with wheels, and the color red. He insists on sleeping at night with a stuffed penguin and his two favorite blankies. Asher rarely runs, instead he does a goofy bouncy gallop-type movement that gets the rest of us laughing every time. He isn’t much of a meat-eater, and will usually pick around the meat, or eat everything else first. But other than that, he’s not a very picky eater.

Asher is stubborn about doing things at his own pace. When I ask him if he can say a new word, he’ll either say it, or matter-of-factly answer, “No.” He has never once even tried saying his own name. For months, when asked “Who is that?” about his reflection, or “What’s your name?” his answer has consistently been “Boy.” When he was first learning to talk he would call our dog Bernie, “Nie.” But he soon stopped saying that and just calls him “Goggie.” As he has done with so many other words, I’m confident he’ll start saying both when he can say “Asher” or “Bernie” correctly.

We love this kid and are so excited to see all the new things he learns in the next year.